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January 10, 2025

(2 Timothy 4:1-4 KJV) “I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.”

First let me say, that I am heart broken that I even must bring this to the attention of you dear reader, but as Paul told Timothy “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” I am very afraid that this is what has happened in our Sovereign Grace Churches today!
This subject has been on my mind for some time. I have been meditating on (1 Corinthians 14:34-35) “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” It is true that Paul is dealing with speaking in tongues, prophesying and praying in the church but when he comes to the woman’s place in the church it becomes apparent that he is not separating between these three but telling the church that the woman is to be silent, period.  He does not acquaint the speaking in tongues, prophesying and praying in the church, but to be silent and that it is not permitted for them to speak. End of story. To read anything else into this Scripture and to say that they were not to speak in tongues is to do damage to the word of God.

The reason many churches use that excuse is they know it will cause problem with women; therefore, they will lose people and the attendance will go down.  The preaching of the word and the truth is not to gain big congregations but for the edifying of the saints and to glorify God and Christ Jesus!
Let me break this down just a little without going much into detail, and with the help of Elder Tom Ross’s book, here are some reasons why women are not permitted to speak in the church.

The first reason Women are commanded to be silent: “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.”  This is a positive command issuing from God Himself concerning the woman’s silence in the church.  The silence and subjection of women is in accordance with the laws of Jehovah in the OT as well as the New.  Believer’s show their allegiance and affection for Jesus Christ through obedience to His commandments.  I ask people, What Part of Thou Shalt Not, Don’t You Understand?  (1 John 5:2 KJV)  "By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments."  The command for the women to keep silent in the church ought to be cheerfully obeyed.

The second reason why women are not to speak in church is recorded in (1 Corinthians 14:35 KJV) “And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."  When any matters in the church arise whether it is doctrine or government women are directed by the apostle to ask their husbands at home.  The reason is because it is shameful for women to speak in the churches.  The word for “Shame” in verse 35 is aischros (ahee-skhros`) which means base, shameful, of that which is opposed to modesty or purity.  The same word is translated filthy in Titus 1:11. Thus, it was considered inappropriate and shameful for a woman to speak in the assembly because of her God-appointed role of a submissive and obedient helpmeet.  One reason women have a hard time with being a submissive and obedient helpmeet is the way we men have treated our wives over the years, so they have rebelled but it does not change God’s command. 

Dear reader I would be willing to say that 50 years ago no preacher held the view “they weren’t aloud to speak in tongues” for the meaning of 1 Corinthians 14:34-35.

I have come to the place and believe that some women are actually angry that they were not born a man, but that’s my opinion. And I must add that I have heard several women from different churches of our belief say Amen in the public setting…That Is Speaking Out in The Assembly! Ladies if you are guilty of that, then you should be ashamed of yourself because it is not permitted. You all can pitch a fit, but I am tired of seeing our Baptist heritage dragged through the mud with this kind of behaviour! And I am really upset that many husbands and even some of our preachers are allowing it…shame on you as well.

The third reason why the woman is to learn in silence and subjection in the church is because of the principles established by God in the creation of man and woman.  (1 Timothy 2:11-14 KJV)  “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.  For Adam was first formed, then Eve.  And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.”  God ordained that the man would be the head of the woman, her position or role being one of subjection to her Divinely appointed authority.  1 Corinthians 11:3, 8-9 state this clearly:  “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.  Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”  Eve was formed out of Adam, for Adam, for his comfort, service and help, wherein lies the strength of the apostle’s reason for the women to be in silence and subjection (nothing at all to do with tongues).  This was God’s design even before the Fall!

It is a real shame, but many women hate that. That is why you see woman in the position men should be in today.
There are more reasons but I will stop at this one.  Another reason why women are to be in silence and subjection is discovered by a study of words used to describe her public decorum and behavior in relation to men.  1 Timothy 2:9-10 states: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”  The Greek word for “shamefacedness” is aidos (ahee-doce`) which signifies a sense of shame, or modesty.  It is used regarding the demeanor of women in the church.  The word signifies a bashfulness and modesty towards men.  The Greek word for “sobriety” is sophrosume (so-fros-oo’-nay) which denotes soundness of mind or sound judgment.

Like I said there is much more I could say and one thing you will hear me say over and over is “check me out”!  We should not just take the word of a man even if it is our pastor, whom we love and respects.  We all have the command from God as stated in (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV) “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."  We have a responsibility to check things out.  Here is what Acts has to say about this: (Acts 17:11 KJV) “These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”

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The Spirit of Diotrephes

               The Apostle John wrote a letter detailing some concerns he had about the Church. Do you want to know those concerns? Reading 3 John 1:9-10 we see that John said in (v. 9), “I wrote a letter to the church (congregation): But Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.” (Loves to be in charge, will not accept us), (vv. 10-11) “Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church. Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.” (In other words, John is saying “When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing, And the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, He also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church”).

               The Apostle John said, Diotrephes loves to be first. Other translations say, “Diotrephes loves to be the leader, likes to put himself first, loves to be in charge, loves to have the preeminence among them, loves to be their number one.”

               Hmm…Does it mean one should not aspire to be the best or number one in whatever God puts in your care? No! Please be the best you can ever be! Mediocrity (the state or quality of being mediocre) is not a synonym of Godliness. Hone your skills, talents and gifts and be the best in your areas of calling. One thing is missing today in our churches and that is giving one hundred percent to God. After all, do not church members give a hundred percent for secular things?

               The Apostle John in this letter was describing a personality disorder that, unfortunately, some people are cursed with, it is called a narcissistic personality disorder! There are some individuals out there who are all but impossible to get along with. Their arrogance causes them to see themselves as all but infallible while everyone else deserves to be criticized intensely. These individuals are known as narcissists, and it is very likely you know at least one (unfortunately I do). Narcissists are manipulative and can learn to cover up their nature when someone is first getting to know them, though over time, they will often reveal their true selves. Should you feel like someone is emotionally abusing you or is unable to take any criticism, you might be dealing with a narcissist. These are some signs of a narcissist. Diotrephes had it!

               If you marry a narcissist…you are in for a troublesome marriage. If you have a narcissist as your boss…Trouble. If you now have just one narcissist in your local church…You had better pray well or else that church is sitting on a keg of gun powder! Oh, how true, dear reader, do not slough this off, this is most serious and I want to really put some emphasis on this, once again, “narcissistic personality disorder” is a disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance and a personal egotistic need for power and admiration. Three things characterized this personality: 1) Dominance, 2) Arrogance, 3) Hostility.

               All these were seen in Diotrephes. He did not just love to be in charge (dominance), he disrespected Apostle John’s directives (arrogance). Do not forget Apostle John was the oldest Apostle at that time, yet Diotrephes never obeyed him. Also, Diotrephes caused divisions within the church (hostility). Therefore, he was qualified to be called a narcissist!

               How then do you know people with the spirit of Diotrephes? 1) Every discussion revolves around them, it starts with them, it ends with them…It is me, me and I, I. They will talk endlessly about themselves, and if at all they ask about you, they are not really interested! They only ask for “asking-sake,” 2) The spirit of Diotrephes will lay burdens and restrictions on others that he is not willing to take upon himself. Diotrephes forced people to respect his orders but was not willing to submit to Apostle John and other Apostles that visited the church, 3) The spirit of Diotrephes is an autonomous spirit that finds it difficult to function peacefully with other leaders. It cannot work peacefully with other fellow ministers. The spirit will always kick against anything called “constituted authority,” 4) It is a critical spirit. It will always be looking for faults in any decision taken by others. It is a spirit of destructive criticism. If you say ‘A’, they will say ‘Z’. Though he actually wanted to say ‘A’, but just because you said ‘A’, he must say ‘Z’ in order to fuel his ego. It is a spirit of antagonism! 5) It is a spirit of double standard that exercises different discipline towards different people based on his perception. It is a spirit of nepotism.

               If you have this personality, you need help! Do not rationalize it. Do not say you are trying to help God’s work to progress. Diotrephes actually thought he was doing that by preventing his church from external influence of the Apostles. Little did he know he was a clog in the wheel of progress. Meanwhile Diotrephes was not an ordinary member of the church! Research showed he was probably the Bishop or Pastor of that church! That was why he had the authority to even send people that did not tow his line out of the church. Leaders be careful!

               In your local church are you like Diotrephes? Are you a leader in whatever capacity and you notice you have these traits in you? Do you antagonize every decision made by constituted authority? Do you think all decisions are wrong except the ones you make? Do you spread malicious nonsense about people of God in order to cause divisions? Do you use your words to dissuade people from doing the good they want to do and yet you will not lift your finger to do anything?

               Repent today! Seek help medically and spiritually. Medically, because it is a personality disorder! This personality does not affect your relationship with people in the church alone, it affects your marriage, career etc.

               The problem now is that people who have this personality problem may never seek help because of their self-grandiosity! In fact, they will never admit they have this disorder. So, help may be elusive to them!

               Spiritually, because it can be a spirit! Evil spirits can attach themselves to these personality disorders to cause troubles in the church, marriages etc. So, the evil spirit needs to be cast out of his/her life. The problem here too is the fact that these people are likely leaders (they love to be in charge), so they may not be able to humble themselves before God and other ministers!

               Lastly, the spirit of Diotrephes is a destructive and divisive spirit. If you see its manifestations in your church, marriage, organization, bind it and send it out. If you have it, admit it, and humble yourself by seeking help!

               Do you know this guy. He purposely quotes out of context (which is nothing more than a lie) in order to gain a following against a brother he is obviously very jealous of. He maliciously spread gossips about men of God! Do you spread malicious nonsense about people of God in order to cause divisions?